


Save Me

by bookl0ver



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Don't copy to another site, Kidnapping, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:48:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22837294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookl0ver/pseuds/bookl0ver
Summary: Keanu Taylor has returned, desiring revenge against the Mitchells. His primary focus is Ben, who ordered for him to be killed. In order to get back at him, Keanu kidnaps his boyfriend Callum. His boyfriend, who Keanu has always harboured a bit of a crush on.With Callum at his mercy, and Ben helpless to do anything, Keanu realises he has the recipe for the perfect revenge.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell, Callum "Halfway" Highway/Keanu Taylor
Comments: 32
Kudos: 100





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Some characters may be slightly out of character, as I'm not heavily familiar with the characters themselves, having only recently gotten into the show. 
> 
> Warning: There are non consensual elements to the interactions between Keanu and Callum. If this may be triggering to you, I would highly recommend not reading this. 
> 
> Thank you for clicking on this, I hope you enjoy.

Callum’s head lolled limply as Keanu tightened the cuffs around his wrists. Satisfied with the red rings blossoming on Callum’s skin, Keanu rose, and stared down at his captive. 

Callum Halfway Highway. An undeniably handsome, sweet man, with a heart of gold. A heart of gold that could be fooled by any cocky grin and soft kisses, apparently. How Ben Mitchell had ever seduced this soul was a mystery to Keanu. Keanu’s latent bisexuality had been stirred when he laid eyes on the gorgeous veteran, and he didn’t deny to himself that that attraction might have been a key factor in choosing this particular method of revenge. 

“How did it happen, eh Callum?” He asked softly, crouching in front of him. Callum’s eyes remained closed, soft breaths coming out of his mouth. “What did he do, to convince you that he was worth all of this? Flowers maybe, chocolates? Sweet nothings in your ear?” 

As Callum remained silent and still, Keanu’s mind darkened. “Or maybe, it was his cock.” A wicked smile curled across his face. “Maybe, he fucked you into submission, broke your pretty little spirit, and convinced you to join his disgusting family.” 

A low groan escaped Callum, his head turning to the side slightly. Keanu froze as he watched Callum’s eyes begin to flutter open. 

Finally, Callum’s eyes opened, a bleary noise of confusion escaping from behind the gag, before they opened wide and he looked around wildly, the chain rattling as he thrashed around in fear. 

“Shh, Callum, calm down,” Keanu said softly, hand clamping down on Callum’s shoulder, holding him still. 

Callum’s eyes were wide and his breathing heavy as he stared up at Keanu in confusion and terror. 

“Just, be quiet and listen to me, okay Callum? I promise, this’ll all make sense.” 

Silence stretched between them before Callum nodded softly. 

“Your boyfriend, tried to have me killed. He told Martin to kill me. Luckily for me, and less so for you, he didn’t have the bottle.” Keanu scowled when Callum’s face didn’t register any kind of surprise at the admission. 

So, sweet, kind-hearted Callum wasn’t as innocent as he seemed. He'd known what Ben had done, would have done, and he probably hadn’t even tried to stop him, or bring him to justice. No, he’d stayed and let that murderer hold him close and fuck him. 

“But I’m sure you knew most of that, didn’t you Callum?” He reached up and pulled the gag out of Callum’s mouth. “Sweet Callum Halfway, willingly fucking a murderer.” 

“Keanu,” Callum started, trying to form words through his dry mouth and pounding head. “Please, whatever I’ve done, whatever Ben’s done, you don’t have to do this.”

A dark laugh escaped him, and Callum’s heart dropped to his stomach at the sound. 

“It’s that simple, is it?” A pained whimper escaped Callum as Keanu reached up and grabbed his hair, tilting his face up. “I let you go, you go back to your loving murderer of a boyfriend, and I go back to what? Kids I'll never see again, neighbours that want me dead and a family who're disappointed in me.” 

“Keanu, please, look, we can sort this.” Callum spoke rapidly, panic building in his chest. “I’ll talk to Ben, to Phil, to Martin, we’ll find Louise, fix things with Sharon.” 

“No, no you won’t.” Keanu yanked roughly at his hair, a sick thrill filling him at the short yelp of pain. “You, are going to sit here, looking pretty, until Loverboy gives me one hundred grand. And if he doesn’t, then, well. You won’t be so pretty no more.” 

Tears filled Callum’s eyes at the threat, his mind racing as he thought of Ben, frantic with worry. How was he going to raise that kind of money? 

“What, nothing to say?” Keanu sneered, looking down into Callum’s teary eyes. “I hope those tears are for yourself, and not for that pathetic scumbag you call a boyfriend.” 

Before Callum could reply, the ringing of a phone echoed through the room. Shoving Callum’s head down Keanu strode over to where his phone lay on the table.  
Ben

Chuckling, he turned and held the phone up for Callum to see. “It’s Loverboy, handsome.” Returning to Callum he crouched over him, pinning him down as he stared at the phone, at his love’s name, the one person who could rescue him, taunting him. 

“If you make one noise without my say so, I’ll make you regret it, understood?” 

Callum swallowed thickly and nodded. 

Satisfied, Keanu answered the phone. 

“Hi Ben, to what do I owe the pleasure?” He chirped, smile wide. 

“I’ve got some of the money, and more’s on the way,” Ben’s voice came through the phone, cold and angry, yet the sound of it still made Callum’s heart race. “Where is he? I want to know he’s alright before I give you anything.” 

“Hmm, what do you think Callum, should we let you speak to you dear, darling Ben?” Callum stared up at him, trying to work out if this was a trap. He didn’t dare speak out of turn, in case Keanu used it against him. 

“Aw, he isn’t sure.” Keanu crooned, running a hand down Callum’s face softly, chuckling at Callum’s flinch away. “Seeing as I’m feeling nice, I’ll put him on the phone. You’ve got one minute, make it count.” 

“Callum, Callum are you there? Babe are you alright? Callum?” Ben’s voice was frantic, and Callum’s heart broke at how frightened he sounded. 

“I’m-I’m here Ben, I’m here.” He said softly, tears coming to his eyes again as he heard the shuddering breath his boyfriend took in. 

“Oh, thank god,” Ben breathed out, his voice shaking. “Are you alright? Has he hurt you? Because I swear, if he has hurt you, I’ll kill him.” 

“No, no he hasn’t hurt me,” He glanced up at Keanu, who was watching him intensely. 

“Good. Good.” Callum shut his eyes, relishing the sound of relief Ben let out. God knows how long he was going to be kept here, he needed as many positive thoughts to cling to as he could.

“Babe, I’m going to save you, I’m going to pay Keanu, and he’s going to let you go, I promise you.” The tears fell from Callum’s eyes, and soft sobs escaped him.

“Ben, I’m so scared, he’s so angry,” The words spilled from Callum without his consent, his fear finally overpowering him. “Please, help me, I love you so much, please, Be- “

“Callum!” Ben shouted into the phone as Callum was cut off, muffled noises escaping through the phone line. 

“Whilst that was sweet, it was making me feel a bit ill.” 

“What have you done to him?” Ben demanded. 

“Nothing, nothing. You’re almost acting like you care.”

“If you’ve hurt him, if one fucking hair is out of place, I’m going to kill you.” 

“That’s not a very nice thing to say to the man who’s got your pretty boyfriend all bound and gagged. I could do anything to him right now, and there’s nothing you, or your criminal family can do to stop me.” 

Callum’s eyes widened and he tried to shout around the gag that Keanu had shoved back over his mouth. 

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, please, don’t hurt him,” Ben pleaded, voice meeker than Keanu had ever heard it. Meek and subdued.

“That’s better!” He exclaimed, chuckling. “It’s been lovely talking to you Ben, but Callum here is getting pretty restless, I think he wants some attention.” He paused, savouring the way Ben’s breathing stuttered as he tried to keep calm, the way Callum shifted slightly away from him, pressing himself back against the wall. His voice turned cold as he continued. “You have a week, I’ll text you a time and place on Monday, and if you don’t hand it all over, you’ll never see him again.” 

With that he hung up, cutting off Ben’s response. Turning his phone onto silent, he smiled down at Callum, who was still crying softly. 

“Loverboy really cares, you know.” He said softly. “It’s a pity. If he didn’t, you wouldn’t be in this situation. You would be nice and safe, if you hadn’t been stupid enough to get involved with the fucking Mitchells.” 

Callum winced as Keanu cupped his face, trying to pull his head away. “Listen to me, Callum. If your boyfriend does anything out of line. If he tells anyone, if he tries to trick or trap me, you’ll feel it. Hurting you is the only way to hurt him. I hope you understand.” 

Callum shook his head and whined through the gag. Please, let someone save him, let Keanu come to his senses. He hadn’t been this scared in a long time, alone with a madman who would do anything for revenge against his boyfriend. 

“But Ben has sins that just taking you from him won’t fix. I’m going to make sure everything that he and his family have ever done to me is reflected on your beautiful body.”

Callum paled and tried to shrink away, bringing his bound hands up in front of his face, trying to hide from the frankly lecherous look that appeared on Keanu’s face. 

“Oh, come on Halfway, don’t be like that. We used to get on so well,” Grabbing the chain attached to Callum’s cuffs he yanked his hands up and out of the way, securing the chain in such a way that Callum’s hands were held taut above his head. 

“I’ve wanted you for so long, Callum. From the first time I saw you. You’re so beautiful, so pure.” He paused, stroking down Callum’s face. “Or, you were, until you let Ben Mitchell dirty you. But don’t worry, babe, that’s what you like to be called isn’t it? Babe? I’ll purify you, clean you up, make you beautiful again.” 

With that, he pulled the gag down to hang around Callum’s neck, and crashed their mouths together, holding the back of his head tightly and adjusting his position so that Callum was thoroughly pinned beneath him. 

That didn’t stop Callum from fighting against him. His entire body thrashed, his bound legs trying to draw up and throw Keanu off, his torso twisting and turning to get away. He struggled violently against his restraints, against the way his head was held against Keanu’s, the scruff of his beard scratching his face. It all felt so wrong. The big tongue invading him, forcing its way in and exploring his mouth made him want to be sick. 

He screamed into Keanu's mouth, his lips trying to form the words no and stop repeatedly. When it became obvious Keanu planned to ignore him, he couldn’t take it anymore and bit down on that horrible invasive tongue. 

Keanu flew back with a shout of pain, and Callum had no time to process the flash of satisfaction that filled him before his head was sent flying with the force of Keanu's hand colliding with his cheek. 

“Bad move, Callum.” He hissed, standing up and delivering a violent kick of rage to Callum’s stomach, forcing out a pained yelp. 

Callum tried to curl into himself to protect the rest of his body as more kicks and blows rained down him, breathing heavily as he fought to get air back into his lungs through the pain. 

“I think, after that little display, you need some time to cool down.” Keanu growled, reaching down and yanking the gag back up, securing it over Callum’s mouth. His anger dissipated slightly at the way Callum flinched away from him. “I’ll see you in the morning, maybe by then, you’ll have a bit more respect.” 

With that he walked away, making sure to turn off the lights, leaving Callum completely alone. 

As he heard the footsteps get further away, he let out a scream that was muffled by the gag, and thrashed around once more trying desperately to get free. He struggled and pulled against the cuffs and chains, the sound of the metal clanking echoing in his ears. 

Eventually, exhaustion paired with hunger, thirst and pain took over, and he sagged in his bonds, tears of frustration and desperation streaking down his face as he sobbed. 

Ben, please, he thought desperately, praying almost as he pictured his boyfriend. Please. 

Please save me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Callum discovers something that Keanu had wanted for a long time, and fears this nightmare will break him permanently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: If you're triggered by portrayals of non consensual touching and kissing, please do not read this for your own sake.   
> Implied rape. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Despite the aching throughout his arms, chest and back at the uncomfortable position he was trapped in, eventually Callum fell asleep. Although, if you asked him, he would call it more passing out due to a combination of dehydration, hunger and exhaustion than actually falling asleep. Either way, he had drifted off into unconsciousness, dreams of Ben filling him with warmth as he dozed, the pain and fear momentarily forgotten.

\------------------

_Ben stood in front of him, holding his hand. His eyes were shining with love, and Callum knew his own were the same._

_“Callum,” Ben said, voice soft and sure, thumbs rubbing against Callum’s hands soothingly._

_“Yeah Ben?” He replied, heart beat speeding up. He knew what he going to tell him. Finally, after all this time he was going to hear those three special words._

_“Callum,” Ben started, smiling beautifully. “I lo-“_

\------------------

“Wakey wakey pretty boy!”

Callum jolted awake, the soft dream replaced with harsh reality. Once again, crouched in front of him, grinning widely like this was all some kind of joke, was Keanu.

The peace that lingered from his dream quickly evaporated, replaced with an unpleasant mixture of fear and anger.

“Sleep well?” Keanu asked, voice dripping in false sincerity as he pulled the gag from Callum’s mouth to hang limply around his neck.

“What do you think?” Callum attempted to reply sarcastically, determined not to let Keanu think he’d broken him in anyway. What came out, however was more of a croak followed by a dry cough.

Keanu’s face quirked with concern before he righted himself back to his smug mask. Reaching for the backpack he had brought with him he pulled out a bottle of water.

“Here, drink this,” He said, unscrewing the cap and holding the bottle out to Callum.

Coughing again, Callum shot a pointed look at his hands, still chained securely above his head.

“Oh, shit. Right.” Keanu glanced at the chains, before shuffling closer to Callum, who couldn’t help but attempt to shift away. Keanu gave him a warning look, and held the bottle up to his lips.

Callum did not want to accept the indignity of drinking straight from Keanu’s hand like he was some kind of pet, but his parched throat overwhelmed his pride. Shutting his eyes in resignation, he parted his lips and allowed the cold water to spill into his mouth. As soon as the cool liquid began soothing his burning throat, he couldn’t stop himself from gulping it down greedily, ignoring the droplets that missed his mouth and dribbled down his chin.

When Keanu took the now half-full bottle of water away Callum was ashamed at the whine that escaped him. He couldn’t believe what a bit of discomfort and thirst was reducing him to.

At Keanu’s amused chuckle he tilted his head down, making fixed eye contact with the floor.

“You that desperate for something in your mouth, Highway?”

Heat rushed to his cheeks, and his head snapped up in fury. How dare Keanu sit there, making jokes, as if he hadn’t tied him up, kissed him and left him trapped here?

“If I was, I wouldn’t want it from you,” He sneered, pouring disdain into his voice. He relished the way the grin dropped off of Keanu’s face, how his confidence seemed slightly shaken.

Unfortunately, it was quickly restored. “Who said anything about you having a choice?”

Fear tightened across Callum’s chest.

“Come on, Keanu.” Callum glanced up at him, meeting his eyes. “You’re not that person. No matter what you think the Mitchell’s turned you into, you know they don’t do that, and neither do you.”

“You don’t know what they’ve done to me Callum. If you told me a couple of months ago that I’d be pulling stunt like this, I would’ve laughed in your face.”

Callum looked away, biting back a sigh of irritation. Keanu’s insistence that none of this was his fault was grating on his nerves.

“So, all of this is Ben and Phil’s fault?”

“Exactly,” Keanu replied. “I’m glad you understand.”

“Funny that,” Callum muttered. “Last I checked, Ben wasn’t the one keeping me here.”

It became apparent that that was not the right thing to say. Before Callum could blink Keanu had grabbed him by the throat and shot up, forcing both of them to their feet.

“This.” Keanu hissed, pressing hard against Callum’s throat until he started to choke and splutter. “Is all his fault. If he hadn’t ordered Martin to kill me, if he hadn’t seduced you before I got the chance then none of this would be happening. Everything that happens to you, is his fault.”

He held Callum there until his face started to change colour, his chest heaving as he tried to get air into his lungs. Only then did he release his grip. Without Keanu’s grip holding him up Callum collapsed down onto his knees, a weak groan of pain escaping him as he landed heavily, his shoulders jerking as the slack on the chains was abruptly snapped away.

Keanu watched him breathe rapidly, trying to get oxygen back into his body. Already blossoming on Callum’s slender neck were bruises in the shape of Keanu’s fingertips. A rush of heat warmed the pit of Keanu’s stomach.

That was his mark on Callum’s pretty body. Not just bruises that could have come from anyone, but specifically his, his fingertips, marring that light skin.

“You look good with my handprint on you.”

Callum froze. He had finally gotten his breathing under control only for Keanu’s words to shock him into holding his breath. The tone in Keanu’s voice scared him. It was deep, dark and… lustful.

He didn’t dare look up as footsteps approached him, not even when a pair of trainers were less than a metre from him. He didn’t want to see what Keanu’s face looked like right now, thinking of him like that.

A yelp of pain escaped him at the pull on his hair, forcing him to look into Keanu’s eyes. The pale blue eyes were dark with lust, pupils blown and Callum had never felt fear like he did at this current moment. In the army, he had thought he was going to die, but that had always been a possibility from the day he had enlisted. This was something different.

“Fucking bite me again, and I’ll make sure darling Ben won’t even recognise your body,” Keanu warned huskily, using his fist in Callum’s hair to connect their mouths.

Callum tried to struggle but was held fast by the chains and Keanu’s grip. He wanted to bite down, to scream and fight but Keanu’s words echoed in his mind. Before all of this he would have taken those words as an empty threat, just an attempt at bravado, but not now. The fear for his own wellbeing shot through the roof, especially when Keanu knelt down to be level with him and began using the hand not holding Callum’s head to touch his body, feeling him up and down and groping at him.

He shut his eyes tight as body started to react to the stimulation, and tried to pretend he was somewhere else, anywhere else, that this wasn’t really happening. Not to him, it couldn’t be happening to him.

Keanu smiled into the kiss, enjoying the feeling of dominating Callum’s mouth, knowing there was zero chance of retaliation. Finally, he had this gorgeous man right where he wanted him.

Yes, he had loved Louise and Sharon deeply, but with Callum it had been instantaneous. Lust at first sight. And however much he had tried to concentrate on the women in his life, the sight of Callum had always sent his hormones into overdrive. Now, finally he could satiate his primal desire to dominate and ruin this beautiful man.

“I hope Ben’s fucked you well, Cal,” He panted, breaking the kiss to nip along Callum’s jawline. Callum tried to pull away, tears filling his eyes. “Because I’m going to fuck you until you can’t remember his name.”

Hours later, Callum lay shivering on the floor. His hands were still bound by the cuffs and chains, but were no longer above his head, allowing him to curl into a ball as he tried to process what had happened. The buttons on his shirt had been ripped off, the shirt now hanging haphazardly off of his shoulders, barely covering his torso. Around his hips sat his trousers and boxers, pulled up by Callum’s trembling hands, his belt lying across the room.

Bruises and bitemarks marred his body. He didn’t want to think of how he looked, what someone would think if they saw him. He knew Keanu had taken a picture, called it a souvenir for when he had to leave. Told him he’d always remember Callum as one of the best shags of his life.

Remembering those words Callum squeezed his eyes tight shut, trying to quell the sobs that rose up from his chest. If Keanu came back, he couldn’t seem weak. He couldn’t. This humiliation was enough, what would he think if he saw Callum broken? He’d think that he had won, and that was something Callum would not let him have.

Trying to calm down, he thought of Ben. Cocky but kind Ben, aggressive and sweet. His beautiful smile, the way his eyes sparkled with laughter and love whenever they were together. He needed to survive this, to get back to the man he loved. Once he was back with Ben, he could forget any of this ever happened. It would all become a faint memory, like a bad dream.

The sound of footsteps made him curl further into himself. Keanu had left a while after he had finished, but not before cuddling Callum close, running his hands through his hair and holding him as though they were lovers. As if Callum had wanted this. When he had left, he had kissed his forehead, and promised him a second round once he got back from making sure Ben was getting the money.

The tears started to fall as the footsteps neared, Keanu coming closer. He couldn’t take it again. He felt so tired and broken already, if Keanu so much as touched him again he knew he’d shatter like cheap glass dropped on the floor.

Panic filled him at the thought of being so thoroughly broken, and all he could hear was his own rapid breathing and his pulse pounding in his skull. He needed to get away, his brain told him, but his body hadn’t the strength to so much as sit up, let alone fight or run.

When he felt hands touch his shoulders, he couldn’t hold back the shout, “Don’t touch me, don’t you dare fucking touch me!” escaping before he could even think, his body flinching down as though the floor would protect him from whatever Keanu decided to inflict on him.

It was only when the hands removed themselves, did he dare move, looking up. Keanu clearly didn’t care about what he wanted, so why would he listen to him now? Blinking through the tears, his watery gaze finally landed on the figure knelt beside him, at the soft face filled with horror.

“Callum,” The figure breathed out, voice hoarse with grief.

Realisation dawned and for a fleeting moment, nothing hurt, all was well. Because, just like he knew he would, he was here.

Ben was here.

He was saved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed this. All feedback is greatly appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains discussions of past rape - if this is triggering to you, please don't read. 
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to click on this and read it, I hope you enjoy it.

Finally being home felt so good, after having spent several days locked up in a abandoned warehouse and then a further few in hospital, hooked up to drips and machines.

He collapsed onto his big bed, sinking into the mattress. Not lying on the hard floor or a not-much-softer hospital bed was like a drug that soothed his frayed nerves, and within seconds of lying there, Callum had drifted off to sleep. 

Ben entered the bedroom, having been distracted by placing the dozens of flowers and get-well gifts Callum had been given into the kitchen, allowing his boyfriend to go on ahead. When he laid eyes on Callum, dressed in jogging bottoms and a baggy t-shirt, sleeping peacefully his heart sung with adoration. 

It was hard to believe, after all that Callum had been through that he’d ever be peaceful again. Certainly, Ben could see the many restless nights and stress filled days in their immediate future, once Callum was no longer being pumped full of painkillers and sedatives in the hospital. A shiver ran through him as he recalled the first day in the hospital, Callum still unconscious and needing surgery to repair a lung that had been perforated by his broken ribs. When they had wheeled him away, Ben had been sure that that was the last time he was ever going to see him again, and it had been Stuart of all people that had held him, and reassured him that Callum would be okay. 

Ben cringed slightly at having let Stuart see him vulnerable but it was a small price to pay now that Callum really was safe. If he was honest with himself, the sobbing into someone’s chest, someone who understood what he was going through, who knew how devastating losing Callum would be was exactly what Ben had needed. With it out of his system he could finally devote all of his attention to his boyfriend, his beautiful Callum. 

Glancing back at said boyfriend his brow furrowed as the peaceful sleep had morphed into something else. Despite his limited range of movement due to his injuries, Callum was tossing and turning as much as he could, small whispers and whines escaping him. 

Anger filled Ben’s chest at the sight of Callum’s still bruised face contorting with pain and misery. The anger dropped to stone-cold horror as words began escaping his boyfriend. 

“Keanu, K-Keanu plea...please stop, please,” Callum’s voice was soft and laced with terror, his hands coming in front of him protectively. 

It hurt. It hurt to see him so scared and frightened, and the guilt at this ever having happened, that this was the price Callum had paid for the crime of loving Ben pierced Ben’s heart like a dagger. 

Unable to watch the man he loved suffer anymore, he climbed onto the bed beside Callum, rubbing a soothing hand on his leg. 

“Cal,” He said quietly, concern growing as Callum’s distress increased, leg jerking away from the touch.  
“Callum, it’s Ben, Callum wake up!” Ben’s voice rose as he panicked, tears streaking down Callum’s face as his sleeping pleas became more and more desperate. The shouting didn’t wake him, and Ben realised what he had to do. 

Hating himself slightly more than usual he straddled the sleeping form, cupping his jaw gently, a soft whisper of “I’m sorry,” escaping him before he brought his palm across Callum’s face.

The impact had the desired effect, Callum’s eyes flying open to stare up at him in confusion. There was a tense silence between them as Callum panted, eyes vacant. Until he felt the weight on top of him, and he began to freak out. 

“Get off of me, get the fuck off of me, don’t fucking touch me, not again!” Callum’s arms shot up, pushing at Ben ineffectually. He was still weak from his ordeal, and despite Ben’s lack of height he had always been physically stronger. 

Ben dodged the hands that hit at him, trying desperately to get through to his boyfriend. He wanted nothing more than to get off of him and let him calm down on his own but he didn’t dare in case Callum hurt one of them. “Callum! Callum, it’s Ben, you’re safe! Listen to me, you’re safe!” 

Callum’s pulse pounded as Ben’s voice slowly penetrated the fog in his head. He blinked, and the world around him finally fell into place. The ceiling was not dark and dusty, but a bright white, illuminated by the winter sun streaming through the windows. Beneath him was not a cold hard floor but the soft downing of his bedsheets. With every shallow intake of breath, the air was not scented was with copper, mildew and damp, but instead of fresh bedding and his own deodorant. And the body above him, holding him down, was not Keanu, was not trying to hurt him, but was Ben. His Ben, staring down at him with soft blue eyes radiating pain. 

“Ben…” He choked out, the tears falling once more as he broke into sobs. Ben rolled off of him, pulling Callum sideways into his chest. Ignoring the wetness seeping through his shirt he rubbed his boyfriend’s back soothingly, murmuring comforting nonsense to him. 

Callum felt like he couldn’t breathe as he buried his face into Ben’s chest, letting all of the pain pour out of him. For days he had been convinced he was going to die, even when he was in the hospital, and he couldn’t stay awake for more than a few minutes without the drugs pulling him back under. The drugs had kept him from processing anything, his sleeps deep and dreamless. Only now, now that he was finally home and knew he was going to live did everything hit him, return to him in his first natural sleep. 

“Cal,” Ben whispered, gently cupping Callum’s chin. “Callum, are you okay?” 

Following the soft direction of Ben’s hand Callum tilted his head up to look at him, eyes red and damp. “Y…yeah, I, I think so.”

“I think we need to talk about what happened.” 

Callum froze, looking at him with rising panic. Feeling a similar sensation in his gut, Ben quickly added, “Only if you’re ready.” 

The thought of deliberately reliving it terrified Callum, no matter how much he knew Ben needed to know. Everything that they had, that they had fought so hard for could crumble down if Ben didn’t take this well. Tension seized him, and he scrambled out from Ben’s embrace, perching instead on the edge of the bed. Thankfully, Ben didn’t follow him, staying sat behind him on the centre of the mattress. 

If he couldn’t see the hate and disgust that was guaranteed to fill those beautiful blue eyes, maybe Callum could get through this. 

“When he had me,” He started, shuddering slightly as he let himself remember everything that his brain had tried to bury. Let himself actually think of Keanu. “When he had me, he told me that he’d always fancied me, that I was pretty and gorgeous. I- I didn’t believe him at first, thought he was just trying to scare me, make me uncomfortable.” 

He heard Ben’s intake of breath, felt the bed shift as Ben edged closer to him. Shuffling further away, Callum leaned into himself, hands clutching at his knees. 

“I was wrong. The first night, he held me down and kissed me.” 

“Callum- “At Ben’s heartbroken voice Callum shuddered. 

“Let me finish.” He ordered; voice momentarily filled with a strength he didn’t know he still possessed. If he wanted to tell Ben, then he needed to get it out now. When Ben remained silent, he took a deep breath in and out, closing his eyes as he continued. 

“I fought him; you’d have been proud. You said I wasn’t going to take anyone’s shit anymore and I didn’t, I bit his tongue so hard it bled. He beat me, but he stopped touching me that night. Then he came back, and I tried to fight back, tried not to let him break me. So fucking stupid, arguing with him when I was tied up, what did I think would happen? What did I think i could do?” Callum’s voice broke and he felt the tears welling up. Blinking rapidly, he focused on the carpet beneath his feet, scrunching his toes in the soft fibres for an ounce of comfort. “He…kissed me again. And I thought that’s all he’d do. I didn’t think he’d go any further…” 

The silence between them grew, Ben sitting like a statue on the bed, frozen. He knew Callum had been beaten, but once he’d found his pulse, tangible proof that the man he loved hadn’t been taken from his forever, he’d called an ambulance and just held him close. The fear of losing Callum had made him blind to the surroundings. Trying to picture them now, all he could visualise was Callum, lying there chained up like an animal, weak and frightened. His clothing had been in disarray, but he’d put that down to beatings and torture, Keanu trying to put Callum in the most discomfort he could. Now he wished desperately that that had been in the case. 

“Callum?” He questioned softly, watching the equally still figure of his boyfriend. “Tell me what happened, please.” 

“He raped me, alright?” Callum shouted, shooting up and over to the wall opposite, fists clenched painfully. “He… he held me down, groped me and raped me. Pushed my face into the dirt and pulled my hair while he fucked me like he had the right and tore me open. Called me babe and darling, like I wanted it, then cuddled and held me like he was my boyfriend, like I was his.” The tears fell and he turned to face Ben, finally looking at him. “I didn’t want it Ben, I swear, I didn’t.” 

Ben’s face was slack, eyes wide with horror. He tried to speak, to offer some words of comfort or reassurance, but nothing came, his throat blocked by the lump that had formed. 

At the lack of response Callum turned away, staring at the wall. “I knew you’d hate me.” He said softly, a small sob escaping him. “I don’t blame you; you know. I’m damaged goods now, aren’t I? Dirty and disgusting, can’t even protect myself from the likes of… from the likes of… fuck." 

He flinched as arms wrapped around his waist suddenly, the hands turning him to face Ben, Callum’s words having finally snapped him out of his shock. Gently, he guided Callum’s head onto his shoulder, and brushed over his hair with feather-light touches, terrified of touching his boyfriend with more pressure. 

“I could never hate you,” He told him, voice thick as he fought his own tears. “Never, you hear me?” Callum nodded against him as he cried quietly, letting Ben’s words and soft touches wash over him, remind him that not everything in the world was horrific and painful. “What happened to you was not your fault, okay?” He fought the urge to say that it was his fault, that Callum was suffering all of this as penance for being with him. But he knew that that wasn’t what Callum needed to hear right now. 

“The only person to blame is Keanu. Nobody else. Nothing you did or didn’t do could have changed things. You’re so brave, Cal. My beautiful, brave soldier.” 

Callum smiled against his shoulder at that. “That makes me sound like a kid,” he chuckled softly. “Your little soldier.” 

Ben’s heart broke at how soft Callum’s voice sounded, how it cracked as he spoke, but he smiled at the attempt at lightening the mood. Typical Callum, always trying to make things better. 

“Babe, look at me, okay?” 

Slowly, Callum lifted his head, resting his forehead against Ben’s so they could look into each other’s eyes. 

“I need you to listen to me, and believe me. You know I’ll never lie to you, don’t you?” Callum inclined his head slightly in agreement. “Good. You are not dirty, you’re not disgusting. You are beautiful, so strong and brave and resilient. I look at you, and I see a man whose been kicked down so many times, but you're still here. You’re still here, and you’re still you. Perfect, loving, brilliant Callum Highway. The man who I fell in love with, the man whose love I spend every day trying to be good enough to earn, who deserves the world and beyond.” 

Ben paused, swallowing thickly as Callum stared at him in wonder, his eyes teary but his face soft, his posture relaxing into Ben’s embrace. 

“Whatever he did to you, is on him. You did nothing wrong and you will get through this, okay? I’ll be here for you every step of the way. Nothing will ever make me stop loving you, nothing. You could stab me and I’d thank you for it.” 

Callum laughed at that, a small snort of punched out laughter. It wasn’t anything like how he usually reacted to Ben’s ridiculous exaggerations but he’d take what he could get. Seeing mirth fill those beautiful eyes and a momentary smile curve over that mouth was worth more than gold dust, Ben having been convinced he would never see those sights again. 

The knot in Callum’s stomach finally loosened as Ben smiled softly at him. Maybe, just maybe, he didn't hate him, did really still love him and want him. Maybe, they could get through this.

He could get through this. 

“Babe,” Callum said quietly, not wanting to burst their bubble of quiet adoration. “Can we lie down? The painkillers are kicking in again, and I need to sit down before I fall down.” 

Taking a step back, Ben took Callum’s hand gently and led him back to the bed. He pulled back the covers, holding them up as Callum slid in, curling up into a small ball. When he tried to put the covers down, Callum’s voice stopped him. 

“Stay.” 

“Do… do you really want me in bed with you?” Ben frowned slightly.

“Yes.” Callum sounded more certain than he had about anything else. “Please, Ben, I can’t be alone. Don’t leave me alone, please.” 

Heart aching, Ben quickly jumped into the bed, pulling the covers over himself. “You never have to beg me for anything, Callum. I’m here, I’ll never leave you. You’ll never be alone again, I swear.” 

Callum was silent, but he rolled over to face Ben. Reaching out, he laid a hand between them, a relieved exhale escaping him as Ben’s hand entwined with his. 

“Do-Don’t cuddle me, please.” Callum whispered. “I’m not ready for that, not yet.” 

Ben squeezed his hand gently. “If all I ever did for the rest of my life was hold your hand, I’d be content. Whatever you need, however much time you need, I’ll support you, yeah? I love you, Callum Highway.” 

Callum smiled, snuggling down under the blankets. He still ached, physically and emotionally, but as he lay there with Ben he felt the first waves of calm wash over him in a long time. 

Exhaustion settled over him, the emotional strain draining him. As he willingly slipped into unconsciousness he knew, no matter what he had been through, what he still had to go through, so long as he had Ben, he would get through it. 

For the first time in days, Callum sunk into sleep with a soft smile on his face. For the first time in days, Callum felt safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the continued support with this story, I've never felt so accepted and well-received in a fandom before. 
> 
> Any and all comments and kudos are greatly appreciated and valued. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Callum reveals his fears and they try to cope with them together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I got some inspiration for this and decided to revisit it. I plan on finishing the story, explaining what happened with Keanu and showing a bit more of Callum's recovery - a more satisfying conclusion in my opinion. 
> 
> Warnings: Trauma, Rape, Nightmares, 
> 
> If any of this may be triggering to you please do not read
> 
> Enjoy

Three weeks had passed since Callum had returned home, and they had not been easy. For every night of blissful, dreamless sleep there were five more plagued with nightmares. The days weren’t any easier. 

Both Ben and Callum were tired constantly, neither wanting to leave the other’s side but beginning to feel suffocated. Callum flinched and jumped at most sounds and movements, any unexpected – and some expected – changes in the environment. 

It had been hell, Ben mused as he sat on the sofa, clutching a cup of tea in one hand and gently running his fingers through Callum’s hair with the other. Lack of sleep had caught up with him, and Callum had nodded off to sleep whilst they watched TV.

For the last couple of weeks Ben had had to learn all of Callum’s new boundaries. Quick smooches and hands around his waist were a no-go. All of his movements had to be slow and deliberate, so that Callum could see them and had time to react. Their usual tactility was gone, and Ben couldn’t deny that he mourned the loss. He didn’t blame Callum for having to withdraw though, and he was determined to do whatever he could to help Callum feel safe. 

However, he would be a liar if he said having to live like this didn’t break his heart. Every night, long after Callum passed out into a fitful sleep, Ben sat beside him, trying to soothe him gently, often to no avail. When Ben eventually fell asleep Callum’s terrified yells usually woke him up with a jolt. On the rare nights that they both slept soundly, Ben would wake up with Callum in his arms, and for a precious few moments everything would be perfect. The man he loved was safe beside him, content in his sleep. Then Callum would stir, and open his eyes and register how close he was to Ben, the arm holding him tight, restraining him, and scramble away from him as though Ben’s touch burned. 

Looking down at the peaceful expression on Callum’s face made him smile. Every time Callum was able to feel at peace warmed Ben’s heart, reassured him that they’d get through it.

“Ben,” Callum mumbled in his sleep, turning into the hand in his hair. “M'sorry, Ben...” 

Ben stilled, focusing on Callum’s face. The dreams were rarely about him, usually featuring Keanu and the pain he’d put Callum through. 

Callum’s face contorted, a frown replacing the smile, his brows furrowed. More mumbles escaped him, increasing in volume. 

“Ben, no!” Callum suddenly jerked awake, eyes wide and shining with tears. Immediately, Ben jumped away from him, not wanting to cause any more distress. Shock filled him when Callum turned to him and pulled him close, clinging to him as the tears fell. 

“Callum...?” Ben whispered, hands hovering over Callum’s back, unsure of what to do. This was the most contact Callum had initiated since he returned from the hospital, and he wasn’t sure how to be tactile with him anymore. 

“You-you were, you were going to leave me,” Callum sobbed into his neck. “You didn’t- didn’t want to put up with me anymore, said, you said I was a – a...” 

“Shh, shh,” Ben finally allowed his hands to gently rest and rub soothing circles on Callum’s back. “It’s okay babe, I’m here, I won’t ever leave you, I promise.” 

Callum leaned further into him, nuzzling his nose into the soft fabric of Ben’s shirt. It had been so long since he had been able to be held without fear that he was shocked he still had the capacity to be in this position. Taking a deep breath, he inhaled the scent of Ben, his soap and their fabric softener, and found himself feeling comforted. Slowly, the tears stopped, and he gently pulled away, Ben immediately releasing his tentative grip on him. 

“I’m sorry,” He started, guilt filling him as he reflected on his dream. They had been sat at the table, talking quietly when Callum had flinched at something. Even in his dreams, he never stopped flinching, never felt safe. Ben had lost it, screaming at him that he couldn’t take it anymore, couldn’t spend the rest of his life tip toeing around a fragile, pathetic shell of a man who wouldn’t even let his boyfriend hug him. Tears pricked at his eyes as dream Ben listed all of his faults, everything that Callum was doing wrong and how miserable it had made Ben. Despite it being a dream, Callum felt in his heart that it was true, that the only reason Ben hadn’t snapped and said those things to him was pity. He didn’t want to be pitied. 

“We can’t do this anymore, it’s not fair on you.” 

Ben froze. Surely, he couldn’t have heard that right. 

“Callum, what the hell are you on about?” He said, trying to keep his voice calm. 

“You deserve more than this, more than...” Callum trailed off, turning away slightly. “More than me. I’m broken Ben. I can’t even hug you, let alone kiss, or have sex or do anything a boyfriend should. I’m making you miserable!” 

Reeling, Ben stood from the sofa and leaned against a wall, putting some distance between them. A tense silence lingered in the air, Ben’s brain whirring as he tried to work out how to fix this.

“Callum, babe. I’m not miserable... I, I’m sad that you’re in so much pain, and I want you to get better, of course I do, but if you’re like this forever I will still be by your side, I promise. More than anything, I’m just happy that you’re here,” Ben wanted to take a step forward, take Callum’s face in his hands and kiss him gently. Instead he gripped the fabric of his own shirt tightly, knowing that one day he’d be able to touch Callum properly again, and he needed to wait for it. “When he took you, I thought I’d lost you. All I could think about was you, dead or dying alone, because of me. Just by being here, alive, you make me happier than I can explain.”

Callum’s gaze dropped, focusing on the floor beneath him as warmth washed through him. Ben’s words soothed the ache in him, and he wanted so desperately to believe him, believe that things could be alright. But there was one thing that had been playing on his mind that Ben hadn’t addressed.

“What about... about sex? I don’t know when- if I’ll be ready for that. I can’t even think about it without, without remembering...” The unspoken words shot through Ben’s heart like a knife and he wanted to cry, to rage at the devastation Keanu Taylor had caused. Callum sank back into the sofa, trembling hands brushing at the tears falling down his cheeks. 

He just wanted to feel normal again. 

“Baby I -" Ben took a step over to the sofa, dropping to his knees next to Callum’s legs. Slowly, he held a hand out, palm upturned, and let Callum make the decision to hold it. A big, shaking hand fell into his and grabbed on, squeezing tightly. 

“You’re more than just sex for me Callum, you know that. I love _you_. I don’t need sex. I know I’m a slut but I can go without.” He winked up at Callum, relief cooling his belly when Callum laughed at his attempt at lightening the mood, the tears finally stopping. 

“You’re not a slut.” He took Ben’s hand and raised it to his mouth, pressing a chaste kiss to his wrist. “Thank you.” 

Ben tilted his head, hand on Callum’s knee holding on tightly. “What for?” 

“For everything.” Callum replied, not sure how to put his gratitude into words. “For saving me, loving me, wanting me after everything that’s happened. I don’t deserve you Ben.” 

Breath hitching, Ben straightened, taking both of Callum’s hands and holding them to his chest, to feel the beat of his heart. “That’s my line, Callum.” He retorted, then softened when Callum stared at him with that open, vulnerable face. God, he wanted to kiss him, hold him until his doubts went away. “I’ll always want you, love you, save you. For the rest of my life, as long as you want me. Because I love you, Callum Highway.” 

Fresh tears fell down Callum’s cheeks, silent and happy. Clutching tight on Ben’s hands, he stood up and pulled him into a hug, holding on tightly. 

“Can I – Can I put my arms around you?” Ben asked tentatively. He’d learned that every move he made with Callum needed to be careful, calculated, to reduce the risk of reversing his recovery. It was only forced remembrance of that fact that prevented him from wrapping himself around Callum, holding him tight and never letting go. Never again. 

Hesitantly, Callum nodded against the crook of Ben’s neck. Permission granted, Ben gently hooked his arms over Callum’s shoulders, connecting at his spine. 

They stayed in their embrace for what felt like a blissful eternity, their bodies touching in ways they’d both been convinced they would never experience again. Callum could still feel the phantom touch of Keanu, along his spine and in his hair, but the knowledge that this was Ben, that he was safe, overwhelmed the feeling. It was Ben’s soft, lightly scuffed cheek against his head, the scent of Ben – his body and washing powder - filling his nose, his boyfriend’s lightly muscled arms holding him. 

When they parted they sank down onto the sofa together, Ben resting his head against Callum’s chest. It felt normal. 

“Missed this. Thought I’d never have it again,” Callum mumbled, running his hands through Ben’s hair. “I will get better, Ben. I promise.” 

Ben twisted his head up to look up at Callum, a soft smile on his face. This almost felt normal. “I know you will babe. And I’ll be there for you every step of the way.” 

Leaning down, Callum pecked Ben’s forehead, quickly withdrawing but it was enough to send warmth through their bodies. A future of intimacy and casual, comfortable touches seemed possible, after weeks of hesitant, fleeting moments in between flinches, fear and flashbacks. 

Ben have saved him from Keanu, from the warehouse. He knew that he could be saved from himself. 

With Ben at his side, supporting him, he could be saved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Comments and kudos are always welcome. 
> 
> Have a great day!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed. 
> 
> Kudos and comments are highly appreciated.


End file.
